22/10/24

Hello again, I would say that I hope you enjoy the trip to the beach that you are about to go on, the weather is warm, the water is cool and, again, but unfortunately you are about to make some poor decisions. Now I know you think you are prepared, you have water, sunscreen, towels and your comically large hat but these things will not help you. Your first mistake is not your fault, honestly, it is your wife’s but it sets off the chain of events that leaves you in pieces. Your wife is going to put on a bathing suit, you are going to see it, she is going to ask if you like it and you are going to say you do. Now, I understand if you do not see the problem, because honestly neither did I till Love told me. The problem is your wife was feeling insecure about the revealing bathing suit she was gifted by her friend, the same friend who is going to the beach with you, so she hoped you would see it and that you would say no and give her an excuse to not wear an outfit like that and she could use you as an excuse to her friend. Now, since she is not going to tell you, you need to say you do not feel comfortable with her wearing it. Trust me, this will save you. The issue is she feels as though she has to wear it and you like what you see, but she is upset. The whole drive she will be silent in the kind of way that you know there is a problem but do not know what. By the time you arrive at the beach, she has already convinced herself that you are the problem and is so anxious about getting out the car that she freezes, unable to move herself. You, however, believe that she is simply angry, so you decide to give her space and leave her in the car. You will then stroll down to the beach while your wife cries alone. You will then meet the friend and make another bad decision, that is to follow her rather than wait for your wife. Now, even though you will believe she is angry, this is a terrible decision. You need to be with your wife and not be distracted by the body in front of you. She will take you to a quiet spot, away from the lifeguarded zone, to sunbath. Here, you will be asked to apply sunscreen to her body, obviously, do not do this. You will not have a bad reaction but your wife will finally come, covering herself in a towel and see you with your hands all over her friend. She does not react with kindness and you will receive many slaps and screams. You will be unsure as to why she is so upset, that is a flaw you must work on. She will storm off and the friend will comfort you, assuring you that it is not your fault and that your wife is crazy. I would like to make a note here, unless it has not been made clear already, she is not your friend. Remove her from your life, she will not kill you, but she will destroy your marriage. She will encourage you to go for a swim to forget about your wife, who is back to crying in the car. You will swim out and when you are far enough out you will notice the top of the friend’s bikini float to the surface in front of you. All rational thinking will evaporate and before you can fully comprehend her actions, you will see her hold her bottom half in her hand and toss it behind you. She will smile and tell you that if you retrieve it then she will give you a prize. You are so focussed that you fail to hear an odd noise in the background. You turn and frantically swim after the bottom half and reach forward and grasp it with a great splash, but then notice your arm begin to float away as a river of red flows from your shoulder joint. You will scream and thrash and turn just in time to see a shark swim towards you with its mouth open and chomp you in two. The friend survives, by the way, she manages to escape while the sharks spit you out in disgust. You see, in your gawking state, you did not hear the shark siren and as you were in an isolated part of the beach, the lifeguards could not reach you in time. So, here is what you are going to do. You are going to tell your wife that you like what she is wearing but that you are not comfortable with her wearing that outside of the home. You are then going to say that you do not feel comfortable being around her friend and finally, you are going to spend time at home with your wife, where she can wear the bathing suit in the privacy of your own home, and you will both be happy.

From Death.