27/11/2025

Hello there, I noticed that you were enjoying the gift that your wife gave you for your birthday, a puzzle map of the world. While it is exciting, if you do not listen to my advice, then it will be deadly. There are three distinct moments that could cause your demise, the first occurring when you assemble the nation of Australia. As you do this, your wife will place her cup of coffee beside you and lean over your shoulder, observing your progress. What is crucial is that before this happens, you move your laptop, because when your wife points to a piece of Papua New Guinea, you will move your hand and accidentally knock her cup over. In that moment, you will reach for your laptop, which will spark because of the coffee, and you will get a shock that will leave your wife with having to pick up the pieces of her own life.

The second moment is when you assemble the nation of Zimbabwe but are looking for the last piece. You will spot the cat sitting next to it, knocking over the organised piles that you had previously set as it stretches to lick itself. You will become enraged, but it is important that you keep your cool, quell the storm in your heart, because in your anger you will toss the cat off the table, across the room and into the blender. The blender will be smashed, and you will rise, more enraged and rush over to the cat and as you go to grab it again, it will flee and turn the blender on. I will not describe the horror show of what happens when your hand meets the blade, but it will be bad, and you will become stuck and bleed out before your wife returns from shopping.

The final moment comes at the end, when you are looking for the final piece of ocean in the vast Atlantic. You will be looking everywhere for it and even enlist your wife to help. You will find it underneath the box, but that is not the issue, what is, is the laughing that follows. Your wife will find it hysterical that it was under the box and your attempts to move the subject on are met with only more laughing. It will reach a point, when you are beginning to feel embarrassed, that you point the final piece at your wife about to explain that it is not funny when she swipes her hand, unknowingly as her eyes are closed from the laughing, and knocks the piece out of your hand and into your mouth. Her laughing fit will cover the sounds of choking and only after she has calmed down, after about a minute or so, will she notice what has happened and by then, it will be too late. My recommendation would be to simply find the piece early on, but Love (who keeps appearing over my shoulder and adding her own comments) has said that you should communicate with your wife how you are feeling, rather than hiding it and she will apologise.

From Death