18/02/2025

Hello there, I was informed that you are about to go to the library. A wonderful choice to go read some books, sit in quiet and if you don’t do as I say, die. There are three interactions that you will have and each has the potential to be your last. First, when you enter you will see a young boy reading some comics and the child within you wishes to do the same, so you leave your wife to her cookbooks and rush over. The boy will be reading one that you want and while you will ponder how, as an adult male, you could ask a child to read his comic once he is finished without appearing suspicious, I will help, don’t ask. Pick another one, that boy will not finish for some time and when you ask him when he will be done the boy’s mother will step in and accuse you of some fairly immoral intentions. While defending yourself, verbally, the mother will push you, physically. You will knock her hand away, but the boy will see this as you attacking his mother and will pull out a homemade slingshot that his older brother made and fire a metal pellet at you, which will go through your eye and into your brain. So, once you pick a different comic and sit down to read you will find yourself sitting next to a nervous looking man who does not speak English. You will try to be polite, and he will try to explain something to you that you will not understand but misunderstand as him wanting you to hold a book for him. That is true, he does, but the misunderstanding is why, because you believe that he has to go to the bathroom, and he believes that you agreed to fight the father of the woman he cheated on and told to meet in the library. You will sit and wait and then see an angry man in front of you, who does not know what the man who wronged his daughter looked like but knew of the book. You will look up and smile; so will he; then he will pull out a gun and shoot you seven times in the chest. So, when you sit next to the nervous man, point at the exit and say run, he will nod and run off and neither of you will die… in that spot. The last person is the head librarian. Your interaction with her will occur when you sneak up behind your wife and scare her, causing her to scream and then laugh. You will get shushed by the librarian and instead of apologising, you believe that it will be funny to shush her back. She does not find it funny, and she shushes you; you find it hilarious and shush her back. This escalates until the two of you are shushing each other so loudly that others begin to shush you to stop the shushing. With her face red you are unaware of the rage brewing inside her, you see, she has had a rough life. Husband cheated on her, constantly ridiculed by both her family and strangers for her looks and job, tried to publish her poems and was told that they were dreadful, and her pet cat died in the morning. All her frustration, pain and anger became focussed on the idiot shushing her and so she picked up a book, a large dictionary and flung it across the aisle and into your head. What followed was two other editions, each larger than the last and all hitting the same spot, killing you. So here is what you are going to do. First, don’t shush her back, it's not as funny as you think and second, you will see a lady selling flowers on your way, buy her some, not the roses, as she will think it’s a romantic gesture, but the yellow ones and then give it to her when you enter. It will be a moment that she will cherish, and it will mean that she does not kill you later.

From Death.

P.S. Love says if you buy a stranger some flowers then you should also buy your wife some.