26/01/2025

Hello there, I would apologise for interrupting you while at work, but as we both know were just about to fall asleep, so I won’t. This is important, don’t start drifting back to your dreams of a job that does not bore you, because if you fall asleep, you will not wake up. Okay, listen, I know you are tired, and it is still possible for you to take a nap if you want, but you need to deal with some things first. To begin, move your hot drink from the desk and put it away from your computer. Next, move the spare table in the office and move it from opposite your desk to the wall next to the door. Then close the window and move the cable that runs through the middle of the room on the floor and tape it to the side wall. The last thing you need to do is open a book, try the one your boss gave you last year for Secret Santa and open it on your desk, then, if you wish, you may rest your head on it and take your nap. Since I know how inquisitive you might be, let me explain why you need to do as I said. First, during your nap two co-workers will get very upset at each other, so upset that they will begin to brawl. Their melee will cause them to break through the door into your room and knock the table over that is opposite your desk. You will then awake and knock your drink over, startled, and cause your computer to spark, shocking you. You will see the two co-workers continue to punch each other and you will quickly stand to separate them. As you rush towards them, you will first trip over the turned over table, knocking into them, which will cause them to shove you off, sending you back and, through a combination of the cord on the floor tripping you, the open window not stopping you and the electric shock weakening your muscles and causing them to be slow to react, through the window and down to your death. With the adjustments I requested, you will awake and not be shocked and there will be no tripping hazard, allowing you to step in and separate the two and when your boss enters, he will see that you are reading the book and smile at you, thinking that you were reading not sleeping. 

From Death.

P.S. So it seems that Love is not happy with my solution and thus has told me that I must also offer you the opportunity to stop the brawl before it occurs. The fight is related to a missing cup, one that one co-worker has had stolen multiple times and when they believe that another co-worker is responsible, despite their innocence, the brawl begins. The brawl can be avoided if you go to the staff kitchen and find a different co-worker drinking from the stolen cup. Confront them, they will try and lie and say that it is their own, but it isn’t and when you call them out for lying, they will try and bribe you to not tell anyone. Use this to make them clean and then return the cup and the brawl will no longer occur, however, your boss will find you and give you lots of work so napping will no longer be possible. Your call on what to do, nap or stop someone from being fired.

P.S.S. Love has made it clear to me that I should emphasise that you should save the job of your co-worker… I hate her sweet smile, it’s so convincing.