29/10/24

Hello again, I heard you’ve had a busy week, being promoted, having the car serviced (good job listening) and taking care of your sick wife. I know you are planning on doing the weekly shop today and I am not here to dissuade you from going, but there are a series of poor choices that you will regret making, only for a short time, as you will die soon after. The first is simple and not really a poor choice that you could have knowingly made, but when you arrive, park at the back of the parking lot. You see, you will attempt to find the closest park and spot one that is open right by the front entrance, and rush into it, seeing another car coming. The driver will give you an unflattering and vulgar gesture, which you will smirk at so that they see it. This person, who will remain unnamed, will decide in that moment that you are the villain that they need to destroy. Your next encounter with this person will occur when you both reach for the same trolley, except this time you will be too slow and they will swipe it away from you, hitting you with the trolley as they do. In that moment, you decide that they are the villain that you need to destroy. Now, next, if you were following the shopping list that you wrote, you would go to the produce section, however, fittingly, you go towards the beef. It seems your new foe was planning to roast, and so made a comment as they grabbed a large bird. It was a comment about your head, its apparent girth and the ego within. Offended and your ribs still hurting, you returned by grabbing some steaks and raising them, slapping your foe’s chicken from their hand and then pretending to apologise. There was a serious glare before you stormed off, though that would not be your last encounter. Next was down the milk aisle, you approached from the front of the aisle while they approached from the back. They grabbed the premium brand and judged you with their eyes, remarking that life must not be going well for you to buy the cheapest option. Much like the neighbour that the milk was for, you were rather intolerant to the full cream smirk and therefore chose to rebuke them, remarking that it must be easy to spend money that they themselves did not earn. You then met them by the pet food, they stood on the cat food side while you stood on the dog food side. You were burning with anger and rage and chose to loudly remark that you thought it suited them that they owned a cat, for most lonely people do. They scoffed, suggesting that the food was not for your pet, but for you, as your face resembled a sneezing bulldog. You did not take this well and chose to retort by suggesting that their cat must find it hard to differentiate between the smell of the cat food and the smell of their owner. They did not take this well and gestured for you to complete a certain vulgar action, to which you angrily declined. By the time you reached the frozen section, your feud was far from ice cold, oh it could have melted the whole section if not for the time, which you realised was passing quickly and you wanted to return home to your wife. You both seemed to leave together, heading for the same check-out. You could have waited, slowed down, or realised that there was another open spot, but you were fixated, as were they. You both charged forward and crashed into the counter, but your stronger frame knocked them, and their trolley, to the ground. You smirk, turning your back and begin loading the conveyor belt while all the workers and other shoppers look on in horror. Quickly, your enemy stood up and gathered the products from their trolley and rushed to the open spot, filled with embarrassment and rage. Now, you might think this would be it, but in your rage, you noticed that the other checkout worker was working faster than yours, and it seemed like your foe was going to leave the store first. You try to encourage your worker, a shy sixteen-year-old, but she was set at her pace and that pace was slow. There will be a large smirk and many vulgar and rude gestures as your foe leaves, and you will cross your arms and frown. You will stomp out the store, unable to see your foe, you will be in such a huff that you will slam your trolley into the back of your car, denting it. You will quickly realise what you have done and in further frustration, you will push your trolley away. You will not see this, but your foe will be sitting in their car, ready to leave, when the trolley strikes it. This causes them to be engulfed in rage, assuming you did it intentionally, and drive towards you, running you over. You will die on impact, and while your sick wife waits in bed for her husband to return, your foe will drive away, to be caught and jailed a week later. So, let me be clear, avoid that front parking spot and whatever happens to you, stay calm, remember to let things go. Also, Love says that you should buy pineapple, it is on special, and it will last longer than the pears you were buying.

From Death